This too shall pass...

Okay.

So let me just start by saying working two jobs---sucks.

But I figure that I have to at least make it until February, and I think I can do it. Well, it would be best if I could do it, let's just put it that way. And I couldn't do it without the support of my stand up guy--even if he is barely one foot tall on his four feet and covered with fur. He's sitting on my lap right now, purring his head off while we watch Lewis scramble to the top of the rankings in F1 (probably because I'm home and it's daylight..a rare treat these days--or maybe because it's pretty kick ass race today?): Jeter--my fuzzy fella.Yogi's pretty cute, but mostly just screams to be fed whenever I walk in the door. It's very clear most days where I rank with that one. So...guess who doesn't feel bad about taking the little booger to the vet next week??

So seven months of folding t-shirts, cleaning out dressing rooms, selling store credit, and dealing with full on crazies.

Yea..I think I can manage.

Other that working, not a whole lot has been going on. Same old same old--doing some digging through paper at the IMHM (Why can't I find someone to pay me to do that? I'm super awesome at combing through old stuff...), trying to keep up with the house hold necessities--and trying to eat better (I blame Barbara Kingsolver...damn you and your fabulous book!! Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life (P.S.) It made me want to have chickens and rows of green beans, corn, and tomatoes. Crazy, huh? Maybe not.). So pretty much for the last week, all I've been eating is locally grown produce (procured from Waterman's. OMG the tomatoes are fantastic!!) Today the kids at work begged for KFC, and I, sucker that I am, broke down and got it for them....and felt the entire time that my homemade version is SO much better.

Now that the school year has begun at good old FC, maybe I can make myself get back on the horse that is the gym. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. What's one or two days a week?

Turns out right now--it's A LOT. But...a necessary evil.

Hopefully this month I won't be such a slacker with the posting--but seriously, pick up a copy of Kingsovler's book. It will make you rethink some pretty fundamental things.

Chelsea Clinton...my nemesis

So. Every girl needs a nemesis, right? Right.

Mine is Chelsea Clinton.

"Why is that?" you ask? Let me tell you. It began at birth.

She was born Feb 12th, 1980. Me? Feb 13th of the same year, so it's be destined that I will always be playing catch up (Granted, I don't have to spend hours a day taming tragic poofy hair, so she might argue "hey bitch--we're totally even", but I really don't think that gives me a real edge.).

She has her undergrad degree in History, as do I. Little known fact: we both started college pre-med.

See? It's scary.

She has her Master's from Oxford...mine is not quite so prestigious, but hey--I don't see too many people thumbing their nose saying my MBA was a total waste (even though most days I kind of feel that it was...corner office my ass). She is pursuing a doctorate at NYU. I totally plan on getting another degree at some point in time--but mine will be a PhD for sure. (Then my parents, god love them, can say "Our daughter--the doctor. Mom will be so proud.) I just haven't figured out the when/where..and some days--the what. I would love to return to my first love, twentieth century American History, but I still feel the need to help people, too. I've been thinking more and more about therapy.

No...not for me (thanks guys), but I would love to actually help people. Some may think that lame, but whatever. My life, right?

I digress--back to Chelsea. If you have been living under a rock, you may not have heard that she was married a few weeks ago.

In a custom made Vera Wang.

I wanted to be married in a pretty Vera Wang dress. Whore. (Chelsea, not Vera--never Vera).

So you stole my academic career, my job path (working in a large global not for profit that attempts to make the lives of the world's impoverished better a little bit at a time), and now my wedding dress?!?

I could live with the first part--but not the last.

This isn't over Chelsea Clinton--just you wait and see!

I am a power washing GODDESS!

Okay...so last week I got a bug up my butt about cleaning up the outside of my condo. We are supposed to be power washed every year, but that hasn't happened in the last three. "Why is that?" you ask? Because there are a bunch of idiots who live here who don't realize that it actually is important to pay your association fees on time. Like every month. Duh.

I am also on the hunt for matching paint to touch up the outside trim--but have not had much luck with one exception...and it even has a fun name: Route 66. If it's not the same color it's pretty damn close, so that's what I'm going with, but have been told I need to wait to do this until Fall. Argh. Oh well..guess that at least gives me time to get everything scraped and ready.

But I digress-- back to the power washing.

I bought a hose (on sale for only $4.97!!!), deck cleaner, and house cleaning stuff and a hose to sink attachment. I was all set to go, tried to attach the hose to the sink and...

No dice.

Are you serious? Freaking A.

So what's a girl to do?

Steal the neighbor's hose, that's what. And proceed to spend an hour outside hosing down the stairs, the decking, and the siding of the condo.

And it was glorious...

I smell slightly of chlorine and have the happiness that comes with starting a project--and then finishing it (something that seems to be a rarity in my family).

Oh--and I sort of did the whole building. Once got started I couldn't seem to stop.

You're welcome people in A and B...you so owe me.

Dream Therapy?

More like a freaking nightmare.

I'll leave it to you to figure out what in the freak the following means (and note to self: No more late night chili dinners!)

So I'm driving in my car (my new car), and suddenly it just won't go. Or will only sort of go. And this big scary light with a mocking frowny face pops up on the dash telling me the transmission is dead.

(Trust me--this is nightmare enough for me...super duper scary all by itself.)

So I have to walk to my doctor's appointment (I have no idea where this takes place, by the way), and when I look down, I notice that I'm pregnant.

Very, very pregnant.

Apparently--with twins.

Guess who the babies daddy is? Jonah Hill.

Not even kidding. And not the "real" Jonah Hill. More like it looked like Jonah Hill, sounded like Jonah Hill, but was most likely more like a character he's played in a movie or something.

Oh dear lord...this was the scariest thing ever. I woke up in a panic almost screaming. Really universe? This is what you are throwing at my subconscious? Why? Don't I deserve better than a broken down car and babies I probably couldn't afford to feed and FREAKING JONAH HILL?!?

On a happier note, I just finished an awesome book--Mennonite in a Little Black Dress. People should totally check it out...as Rhoda Janzen is quirky, smart, and really funny. (Hopefully I can still say the same for me when I'm 43, but without having a husband who leaves me for a guy named Bob that he met on gay.com. Intrigued? Seriously--pick this puppy up!)

So hopefully tonight I will have sweet dreams that do not involve car repairs or being knocked up. Honestly? I would prefer pure blank, bliss.

So wake up noggin and take note: only good things, please? Thanks!

They're here! They are finally here!!

You can mock me, but today is a happy day for this patio gardener: I have tomatoes!

Yes--that is plural.

And yes, they are tiny and green and not all that impressive, and you can mock or make fun, but I am most impressed with myself. So let me tell you why:

1) The plant is not only still alive, but obviously well taken care of. (Sort of. I think the cage I bought is too small so I will have to tie my plant to my patio. Yes, I'm aware of how jank tastic this will look. Suck it.)

2) Did I mention that the plant is still alive?

3) This is the first time in six years that my plan for edible plants on my back patio has worked!! I'd probably have bumper crops if I had a real plot of land to plant. (Ummm. Apparently someone wants to be a farmer now. And yes--this getting close to nature frightens me a bit. Maybe that desire for a shaggy pony when I was a kid was foreshadowing a love of a more rural landscape. Okay, who am I fooling? I STILL want a pony. And a beagle. Named Whitey Ford.)

4) Again--the plant is still alive!

Now before I get too vainglorious, I should note that my cilantro died and I have yet to have a pepper, but who cares?

I've got tomatoes!!

And I'm a big dork for being so happy about it.

What's gotten in to me?

Not quite sure, actually. I've felt the need to cook.

A lot.

And most of it revolves around summer squash. You know--yellow crook necked and zucchini. Mostly zucchini. It's like I could eat my weight in it every day. It's so much more yummy than I remembered it being, buttery and delicious....okay. I'm starting to get a little excited about eating my lunch.

Yup. It's got zucchini it there..happy days.

Let's see, Monday there was zucchini with pork slow roasted in the oven, and it was devine. Lucky me that the cranberry and vodka chasers I had as dessert seemed to be a nice compliment. And guess who will be eating left overs tonight? Lucky me!!! (Tuesday there was happiness from Thai Spice with Carmen--except in their new location, I felt like a giant in the tiny little chairs. Trust me, I find most airplane seats to be roomy, so if I say a chair is tiny--it's freaking microscopic.) Last night, I decided that what I wanted more than anything else was a roast drenched in red wine sauce with root vegetables and mashed potatoes (and yes, I'm aware that it's not November. That's what AC is for. Really.). And since my dining companion doesn't dig at all on mushrooms (which makes me so very sad for her, by the way), I pondered what else could I put in my Le Creuset knock off (that was still almost !100 bucks!--but an excellent investment) with the onions and carrots and garlic.

Zucchini.

And it was so very good...angels wept. Okay, maybe not, but it's a nice visual nonetheless.

And lucky me gets to eat more today--and sometime soon in the future, too as the rest went in the freezer.

What does this say about me, I wonder?

Actually, who cares--because I'm well fed right now, and that's all that matters.

Travels, SATC--and Bonk!!

Yes, yes..I've been lazy.

But I've also been a travelin' down to Dixie to help Beth get on her way to California. Hopefully I was of some use although sometimes I feel like bad luck locusts seem to follow me wherever I go. Let's hope not for the sanity of others, shall we?

So what's new, what's new? Got gypped on a financial matter (Thanks--thanks so much by the way. I'm forever grateful I've plodded away for THIS. Ha.), so there's that. Always fun times! So the re-doing of my bedroom will have to wait a bit longer. Especially since I have to cough up like 300 bucks to go to Florida for work in a few weeks. (Side note: who plans to go to Florida on purpose in late June/early July? Don't even get me started on this. I swear it's because they want us to feel like we are in Hell.)

In much more fun things--I saw SATC 2 recently.

Um. So not what I expected. Way too long (If I have to take a pee break--it's too damn long. I have the bladder of a freaking camel--not kidding.), way too over dramatic ("I'm going to tell him! AND then be surprised that he's mad at me!" Sobbing follows.), just too MUCH. And I loved the first movie--I really did.

SJP and company: please do not make another movie. Please do not ruin Carrie and Big for me. Let me have the fantasy....please? Let me think it can turn out to be everything I want and more. (Okay--what I want is Big AND Aidan. They can rotate days--brilliant, eh? What? Don't judge me!)

And for other media...I read a fantastic book recently. But, learn from me grasshoppers--perhaps the airport is not the best place for this one. Unless you don't mind people moving their children away from you. Lucky me--I don't.

It's Bonk by Mary Roach...of Stiff fame. (Have you NOT read Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers? Shame on you!! Pick it up today. Or the audio book is excellent, too. Loved it.Click here to learn more about it: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers). Bonk, on the other hand, is about the science of being..well...how shall I say it...sexy? Okay, that does not do this book justice---at all. But it does go into a lot of detail about why we do what we do with our naughty bits. And the stories of the scientists (and freakshows...for sure) who were brave enough (or just plain bat-shit bonkers) to go public with their research. Trust me--it's NOT boring. It's even funny. Just check out the link. Please, please, please Mary Roach--write more soon?

And thanks to Carmen, now I've got to get caught up on my Christopher Moore reading. I think a list of my all time favorite's will have to be done sooner than later--but I will save that for another day.

As well as my lust for True Blood.

It's true kids: I've got no shame left.