If you really loved me--you would get me a maid.

Yes--some girls may want diamonds.

Some may prefer pearls.

This girl would like a clean house--screw the jewelry (for now! NOT FOREVER!! That would just be stupid).

I wouldn't let anyone I know in the door right now, not kidding. Laundry has piled up, the office is a disaster, the living room needs a good pledge fest, and the floors desperately need to be done..it's like a pig lives there.

One does--"oink, oink"--me.

I've tried my usual list making (not working), wipe off board motivations (soooo not working), writing on the mirror "HEY PIGGY! PICK UP YOUR SHIT!!" (well...in this case, I just seem to be pissing myself off--so I'm not doing it out of principle), you name it--I've tried it. I just can't seem to get motivated even though I feel much more zen (go ahead..laugh) in a clean environment.

Okay. Cleanish. I'm not some OCD freak...yet. I'm sure that will come later in life.

Here's what usually happens when I get home from work (either a nine hour or 15 hour day, it seems to go the same these days):

Open door--am attacked by desperately lonely Yogi (Who is so happy to see me I feel a little bit like a bad kitty owner. I'm so not ready for another fuzzy, but Yogi so is.).
Feed cat.
Am still attacked by cat who now wants to play. For hours.
I break down and give him about 20 mins or so. (See? Baaad kitty owner.)
Feel vaguely hungry.
Shrug off hunger.
Sit down on couch to contemplate to-do list.
 Look at first item on list: work out. Laugh out loud.
Wonder what is on Tivo...oooh! Oprah has polygamists on...it won't hurt to sit and watch the first half.
Watch entire Oprah show.
Realize am now pretty hungry.
Make dinner.
Realize haven't done anything on list.
Think to myself...I deserve a night of doing nothing.
Eat dinner.
Settle in to watch more TV or read new book or listen to Podcasts.
Promptly fall asleep.
Wake up around 3 am on couch.
See list.
Get mad at lazy self.

Do you see now why I need a maid? What happened to the good old days when working girls like me and Doris Day had a house keeper? How freaking sweet would that be..Thelma Ritter taking care of my stuff every day? Life couldn't be better....and my clothes and my job would be better, too. (Know not of what I speak? Really? Who hasn't see Pillow Talk? One of the best freaking movies ever made! If you haven't--GO. SEE. IT. NOW.)

So seriously, I'm thinking of starting a begging fund. I thought of calling it Rhea-Aid...but that sounds too much like it's for some sort of weird STD or something....I'll have to think up something else.

In the mean time, I need to get back to work on my list for tonight. Maybe tonight I will actually get stuff done.

That's the plan, anyway.

Wish me luck.