This? This means war!

Hmm. I wonder if that Army Surplus store is still open off of 421??

Cause I'm going to need some supplies for when I open a can of kick ass on a librarian.

Yeah. You read that correctly: A librarian.

(OK--probably actually not a librarian, but a library page. You know, a shelf stocker, checker outer, checker inner...)

I'm thinking scary face paint, helmet--with foliage attached (I'm envisioning Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now....except not so bald. Or fat.), full on combat attire. Boots. Must have boots.

Why? I'll tell you why.

NO. I am not going to pay full price, plus processing, for a book THAT I TURNED IN. What book, you ask? This book:
                                                                    

Which is a great read! Super funny, highly enjoyable--made me laugh out loud (there may, or may not have been the occasional snort. Yes. Tina is that funny. Don't think so? You're dead to me.) If I could be anyone on the planet, it would be Tina Fey. But in actuality? I'm much more like Liz Lemon. Read for yourself--who said this?

“Lovers.. oh, that word bums me out unless it’s between meat and pizza.”


You can't tell, can you???

Well..this one is a good example, too:

Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!


Liz: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he’d buy me mozzarella sticks?




It's like we are the same person. Sadly, she is a tragically funny fictional character that I will never get to hang out with. I am tragically not as funny, but still living her somewhat crappy life. Without her salary. This makes me sad....so sad.

This is has sort of taken the wind out of my sails in regards to storming the library.

I guess it all depends on my response from the library. I sent an e-mail telling them approximately when, and what other books were returned with my copy of Bossypants (like this one: Harry Truman's Excellent Adventure: The True Story of a Great American Road Trip. No really--read it! It's a fun book for summer. And the author is really cool. I kind of sort of met him when he talked about this book at the IMHM: The President Is a Sick Man: Wherein the Supposedly Virtuous Grover Cleveland Survives a Secret Surgery at Sea and Vilifies the Courageous Newspaperman Who Dared Expose the Truth.).

So wish me luck. But I have a bad feeling I'm going to have to go all Rambo on some little old lady.

It will so not be pretty.

On a happy note--I found a 10.00 gift card to Applebees in an old purse. And ten bucks? That will buy a crap ton of mozzarella sticks.