You'll pry this sucker out of my cold dead hands....

Alright.

I give up. Every time I find a new one of you guys, it's wonderful. I feel happy to have you with me. It's almost...magical. You know, like unicorns and rainbows and kittens--all rolled into one big ball of glee.

But then...when I really, REALLY, need you--you are no where to be found.

When will I learn to stop trusting cosmetic companies?

First, Almay broke my heart by discontinuing the best lipstick (hands down) in the US market. My poison? #42--Sequin...boy did I look good in Sequin. Pink Copper (#40) was a distant second--but doable in a pinch.

Like when they were out of Sequin.

You can sometimes find a tube here and there online...but it's trickery. They will let you get all the way to the check out before saying "Whoopsie!! We actually don't have that. Sorry! : ( How about this disgusting Estee Lauder?"

Sorry?

Sorry?!

SORRY!!! You're damn right you are sorry. Hell hath no fury like a woman who can't find her lipstick.

(And yes-Estee Lauder lipstick is DISGUSTING. It's like slapping a layer of tinted Turtle Wax on your lips. Foul, foul stuff...)

But..I found sort of a substitute. A step up, if you will, from Prescriptives.

R/O Surprise #14

It smells lovely, it goes on like a dream..and it's a bit more pinky than Almay, but that's okay...it's the closest thing I've found out there.

So, my tube is almost empty.

So I go online to Prescriptives to find out where I can find my new(er) treasure...

Oh. The horror.

DISCONTINUED.

I called a Prescriptives counter...hoping that the information online was incorrect.

It was not.

And yes. I realize this makes me a crazy person.

But do you know how many years I've spent trying to find the perfect neutral lipstick? Let's put it this way..you should be addressing me as "Dr. Cain", as I should have a doctorate in Cosmetic Sourcing.

That said...there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I found ONE website that has ONE tube of (I'm practically bouncing from my seat as I write this)...Almay #42!!!!

So. I'm safe for now. And I have a few months to find a viable substitution.

So if you see me out--NO biatch--you CANNOT use my lipstick.

Why?

My, my, my...someone didn't read the title, did they?