So the other day--I was presented with a question that I was, at first, stumped to answer:
"What are you looking for in, you know, a guy?"
My first response was flippant (as usual)--"That when we go to dinner, he doesn't call to check in with his wife...” ba-dum-dum.
I then went on to say the stuff that we are expected to say: A nice person, caring, responsible, blah, blah, blah. (Hey--it least it wasn't that Jerry McGuire line of BS of "someone who completes me...” That would be a conjoined twin--and be thankful you don't have one. That not the case? Then you should head to a shrink because you have serious issues with your self esteem if you base your idea of happiness on a second rate Hollywood crap fest. God--people are so lame. Huh. Guess I'm not helping any with that, am I?)
But really? Truly? Hmm. After much pondering, I realized what I should have said to my buddy:
I want someone who enjoys unloading the dishwasher. I have no problems cooking, cleaning up after dinner, etc-but if the dishwasher needs unloading--it is all suddenly "too much" work. I will cram dirty dishes in with clean just so I don't have to unload the stupid thing which, in my kitchen, takes all of two seconds. I can't explain it--but there you have it.
Next on the list--laundry putter-upper. I actually enjoy doing laundry. I don't even mind ironing napkins, table cloths and the like. But--putting clean laundry away? It's. Pure. Torture. Aaaagh. Why do I have so many damn clothes??! That need to be put away? They are neatly folded, mind you (I do not wad things up in a basket. They are folded as soon as they come out of the dryer--the key to avoiding wrinkles), but put up? Hmm. Is someone coming over? Then yes. Begrudgingly.
There are other little things. Like a person who would just sigh bemusedly as they water the plants (I am prone to forget plants require such attention..I love gardening--but I'm not so good at the upkeep). Oh! And run the vacuum a few times a week..I LOATHE the vacuum. I can't explain it. I do it....but I hate every stinking second of it. I'd rather scrub a floor on my hands and knees than vacuum. Funnier still? The vacuum hates me, too. Don't ask.
It sounds like I want a maid. Hmmm. That's not true--I guess someone that's cool in sharing the mundane, because let's be honest...it can't be heart thumping sweaty fun time all the time. Damn. Just writing those words makes me sad...very sad. Sigh.
Also? He doesn't yell at me because of wilted pansies or the sight of me sneaking dirty dishes in with the clean..just because I'm too much of a bum to unload the damn thing. No. He will shake his head and wonder "what did I do to deserve this awesomeness that is my life?"
I don't know--but it must have been good.
So you dont want someone that "completes you," just someone that "completes" your tasks. I see. Your compliment. I think thats when it works, bcuz we cant all have the same job, nothing would get done.
ReplyDeleteOh, and he has to like my kids, for when I visit....
PM
...hmm--well I think you hit the nail on the head with that insight!
ReplyDeleteAnd who wouldn't like your kidlets? I adore them--and have thought more than once of stealing them. Too bad they might all be allergic to the fuzzies.