Kitchen not-so-confidential, horoscopes, and a pig in shorty shorts.

First off--let me tell you of my love of Stephen Pastis. His blog is totally worth checking out as he is...well, hilarious.

Don't know who he is? Umm...I take it you don't read comics like moi. I'm a big fan of Pearls. Today's struck me as especially funny, so I felt the need to share. I think Pig and I have the same problem. Unfortunately, unlike Pig, I KNOW the centrifugal force of the earth isn't going to get me into my skinny jeans any time soon. Damn. But it's a nice thought. Wouldn't the world be wonderful if this were true? Oh well...back to grind. One of these days, I'm going to be one of those work out every day kind of people. Maybe. Hopefully. Okay--not until someone hires me a personal trainer--let's be honest.

Also from today's inbox: My "Accurate" 2009 Horoscope. (Whorescope might just be a better name for it. Seriously.)

AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in
long-term relationships. Can be clumsy at times but tries hard. Will
take on any project.. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy
and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not
sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their
family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or
tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a
Fighter but will Knock your lights out.. 2 years of bad luck if you do
not forward

Well. I can't argue with the trustworthy part. Attractive? Depends on the day, but vanity screams "Yes, yes, yes!". Clumsy? If you've met me--you know this is 200% correct. Some days I don't think I could pass one of those drunk driving field tests sober. Proud of myself? Not usually, no. I do take offense to the messy part. Mainly because it's true. Dirty? No. I'm a notorious stacker of paper. Mail. Magazines. Books. But most days, you could eat off my kitchen floor without hazard. (I have to agree with a very, very smart woman--a role model, really--the former director of the museum where I spend a lot of my time: A clean desk = an empty mind. Here here!)As for the rest of it, well. You can read. (And yes--I hope it's true! What can I say--I'm a sucker for tarot card wielding gypsies...)

So last night, I had the urge to do something. Well...cook, really. But what does one make at 10 pm while watching true crime junk from her Tivo? Well, let's put it this way I had brown bananas that needed to be used and...blueberries mocking me in the refrigerator("Remember us?!?" Ooohh--so sorry, nope--not ringing a bell. This is what happens when I go grocery shopping hungry.). This doesn't sound good does it? Well, you are wrong. It is..a masterpiece. Banana Blueberry Muffins ala me. A whiff of vanilla, a hint of cinnamon, the background of banana and the bursting blueberries. Heaven. They are so very, very good! I'm actually sad I only brought one with me to work today to have for breakfast. (I had to cut back on the poptarts...dear god--I had no idea how much fat was in two small unfrosted poptarts! Yikes!!) This is something that I definitely will be keeping in my repertoire, that's for sure.

If I can't wow you with my smarts--I will win you with my muffins! Ha!