I am a power washing GODDESS!

Okay...so last week I got a bug up my butt about cleaning up the outside of my condo. We are supposed to be power washed every year, but that hasn't happened in the last three. "Why is that?" you ask? Because there are a bunch of idiots who live here who don't realize that it actually is important to pay your association fees on time. Like every month. Duh.

I am also on the hunt for matching paint to touch up the outside trim--but have not had much luck with one exception...and it even has a fun name: Route 66. If it's not the same color it's pretty damn close, so that's what I'm going with, but have been told I need to wait to do this until Fall. Argh. Oh well..guess that at least gives me time to get everything scraped and ready.

But I digress-- back to the power washing.

I bought a hose (on sale for only $4.97!!!), deck cleaner, and house cleaning stuff and a hose to sink attachment. I was all set to go, tried to attach the hose to the sink and...

No dice.

Are you serious? Freaking A.

So what's a girl to do?

Steal the neighbor's hose, that's what. And proceed to spend an hour outside hosing down the stairs, the decking, and the siding of the condo.

And it was glorious...

I smell slightly of chlorine and have the happiness that comes with starting a project--and then finishing it (something that seems to be a rarity in my family).

Oh--and I sort of did the whole building. Once got started I couldn't seem to stop.

You're welcome people in A and B...you so owe me.

Dream Therapy?

More like a freaking nightmare.

I'll leave it to you to figure out what in the freak the following means (and note to self: No more late night chili dinners!)

So I'm driving in my car (my new car), and suddenly it just won't go. Or will only sort of go. And this big scary light with a mocking frowny face pops up on the dash telling me the transmission is dead.

(Trust me--this is nightmare enough for me...super duper scary all by itself.)

So I have to walk to my doctor's appointment (I have no idea where this takes place, by the way), and when I look down, I notice that I'm pregnant.

Very, very pregnant.

Apparently--with twins.

Guess who the babies daddy is? Jonah Hill.

Not even kidding. And not the "real" Jonah Hill. More like it looked like Jonah Hill, sounded like Jonah Hill, but was most likely more like a character he's played in a movie or something.

Oh dear lord...this was the scariest thing ever. I woke up in a panic almost screaming. Really universe? This is what you are throwing at my subconscious? Why? Don't I deserve better than a broken down car and babies I probably couldn't afford to feed and FREAKING JONAH HILL?!?

On a happier note, I just finished an awesome book--Mennonite in a Little Black Dress. People should totally check it out...as Rhoda Janzen is quirky, smart, and really funny. (Hopefully I can still say the same for me when I'm 43, but without having a husband who leaves me for a guy named Bob that he met on gay.com. Intrigued? Seriously--pick this puppy up!)

So hopefully tonight I will have sweet dreams that do not involve car repairs or being knocked up. Honestly? I would prefer pure blank, bliss.

So wake up noggin and take note: only good things, please? Thanks!

They're here! They are finally here!!

You can mock me, but today is a happy day for this patio gardener: I have tomatoes!

Yes--that is plural.

And yes, they are tiny and green and not all that impressive, and you can mock or make fun, but I am most impressed with myself. So let me tell you why:

1) The plant is not only still alive, but obviously well taken care of. (Sort of. I think the cage I bought is too small so I will have to tie my plant to my patio. Yes, I'm aware of how jank tastic this will look. Suck it.)

2) Did I mention that the plant is still alive?

3) This is the first time in six years that my plan for edible plants on my back patio has worked!! I'd probably have bumper crops if I had a real plot of land to plant. (Ummm. Apparently someone wants to be a farmer now. And yes--this getting close to nature frightens me a bit. Maybe that desire for a shaggy pony when I was a kid was foreshadowing a love of a more rural landscape. Okay, who am I fooling? I STILL want a pony. And a beagle. Named Whitey Ford.)

4) Again--the plant is still alive!

Now before I get too vainglorious, I should note that my cilantro died and I have yet to have a pepper, but who cares?

I've got tomatoes!!

And I'm a big dork for being so happy about it.

What's gotten in to me?

Not quite sure, actually. I've felt the need to cook.

A lot.

And most of it revolves around summer squash. You know--yellow crook necked and zucchini. Mostly zucchini. It's like I could eat my weight in it every day. It's so much more yummy than I remembered it being, buttery and delicious....okay. I'm starting to get a little excited about eating my lunch.

Yup. It's got zucchini it there..happy days.

Let's see, Monday there was zucchini with pork slow roasted in the oven, and it was devine. Lucky me that the cranberry and vodka chasers I had as dessert seemed to be a nice compliment. And guess who will be eating left overs tonight? Lucky me!!! (Tuesday there was happiness from Thai Spice with Carmen--except in their new location, I felt like a giant in the tiny little chairs. Trust me, I find most airplane seats to be roomy, so if I say a chair is tiny--it's freaking microscopic.) Last night, I decided that what I wanted more than anything else was a roast drenched in red wine sauce with root vegetables and mashed potatoes (and yes, I'm aware that it's not November. That's what AC is for. Really.). And since my dining companion doesn't dig at all on mushrooms (which makes me so very sad for her, by the way), I pondered what else could I put in my Le Creuset knock off (that was still almost !100 bucks!--but an excellent investment) with the onions and carrots and garlic.

Zucchini.

And it was so very good...angels wept. Okay, maybe not, but it's a nice visual nonetheless.

And lucky me gets to eat more today--and sometime soon in the future, too as the rest went in the freezer.

What does this say about me, I wonder?

Actually, who cares--because I'm well fed right now, and that's all that matters.