This? This is Bernie Williams.
As many of you know--he lives in my house. He eats food I provide him, sleeps in my bed, conquers laundry baskets (you can see how successful his most recent campaign was above), and beats the living crap out of Yogi on regular basis. He is also a connoisseur of the finest catnips and left over people foods.
As of late, my adorable furball had decided there is one more thing in my house that is for him alone to use: the bathtub.
I have but one bathtub in my humble little home--and I tend to use it on a regular basis. Well. I did. Until I discovered that I will have to scrub it down any time I want to use the stupid thing.
(If you don't want to know somewhat personal information about yours truly--do not read on. No--it's not scary. I think?
That said--you've been warned.)
This is how I found out: Living alone, when I go in to the bathroom to, um, well...use the bathroom, I usually have "visitors".
Furry ones.
My boys are super intrigued as to what goes on in there. I've tried to tell them it's no different than the litter box to no avail.
(Probably because they are cats--and comparative to human children--have wee brains.)
And I don't have the heart to give them das boot. Mainly because Yogi sits on the other side of the door and whimpers like he's been kicked in the face. This is a noise that hurts my brain. Literally.
So, being followed in by Yogi is nothing new (someone loves the toilet in a way that is not normal--and I promise you that it's not me). What was new, however, was the weird slurpy sound I heard on the other side of the shower curtain. Tentatively I pulled back the curtain...only to be greeted by:
Yes. Yes--that is MY cat using my BATHTUB to take a freaking BATH! And that's not the worst part. That would be the dirty look he gave me. Well, I think it's a dirty look:
"Woman--you best be not taking peectures of me. Have you not heard of privacy?! GET OUT!"
How is it that I'm the one feeling the shame in this scenario? Does that make sense to anyone? Probably not.
And this? Is not a one time instance. This CAT is in the bathtub. Daily. Bathing. Or 'swimming'. Yes--'swimming'. It's actually kind of cute--he dives in and flings his body around the curved part of the tub and slides around on his back. He also brings in toys. It's amusing and troubling all at the same time.(Why? Because how many cats do you know that voluntarily hang out in bathtubs? See? Weird.)
Since my boy is the next Esther Williams, I'll end this one with an image--that will hopefully wipe all of the above from your mind:
Happy Thursday!
(And? More posts coming soon--it's just a matter of me typing up all the junk I've written in long hand!)
