...They are the devil.
Or, if sticking with the Spanish theme--el diablo.
I've been sick.
Like--way, way sick. It's been almost three weeks. The hacking cough has stopped, but I still feel like I've been run over by a mack truck. I have the energy of a snail...wait--that's insulting to snails (Who, contrary to all appearances, are hauling ass and getting tons and tons of shit done. It's all about perspective.).
*See? They even have personalized stationary!*
Actually, I have the energy of a woman in her early 30's who has been sick for three weeks. There. That's better. And not insulting to anyone but me. (And YES--it also applies to everyone else out there that happens to fit this description. If you are a mom and fall into this category--shut your hole. I don't have your "super powers" yet. Cats don't require that kind of dedication.) This means I come home from work, flop on my bed, and fall asleep within five minutes of the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune.
Damn.
I am officially old AND sick. Damn, damn, DAMMIT!
Because I was tired of feeling like crap (I am also tired of my head being a snot factory. And not the kind that comes out of your nose...oh no, no, no, no. It's the kind that gets pumped straight from the sinuses down the back of the throat. You know, so you always feel like you're either gasping for breath, and it feels like knives are attacking your vocal cords? Or--even better--you feel like you are drowning in a sea of snot, and only when that mucus coating your throat clears will you be able to draw your next breath. I'm telling you people...it's pure awesome right now being me.), I went to the doctor. I was terrified I had pneumonia. Again. (I've had it 8 or 9 times since I was a kid. And it blows each and every time.) Thankfully, it's just a massively huge sinus infection (which explains the crazy bloody nose business that's been happening), and I'm given drugs and told for the next ten days, I should feel better--but will still have NO energy what so ever (thanks antibiotics!).
The first three days on Amoxicillin were....beyond horrid. I have never felt more nauseous in my entire life. Wait. There was that thing...okay--this was the second most nauseous I've been in my life. I really thought, since that was a side effect of the drug, that the tingling in my arms and feet, nausea, and other symptoms were just me making a big deal--and it was normal.
Don't be like me kiddies. It's NOT okay and it's NOT normal.
So, I yesterday, I received new drugs. Hooray! Goodbye wanting to puke every five seconds!
Hello scary as fuck terrifying nightmares!
(What? Didn't see that coming?)
The last thing I remember before waking up screaming (Not kidding....screaming. At the top of my lungs.) was the image of Yogi's sweet, little poly-dactyl feet like these:
Turning into these:
on my FACE!
So basically--I had a dream that Yogi turned into a ton of pissed off snakes that ate my face off. While the people I work with laughed and ate popcorn...like they were watching some sort of freaky reality show.
See? You would wake up screaming, too.
After I was up--I was UP. No more sleep for me after 1 am. So today? I'm in agony. I've seriously thought about skipping lunch and just sleeping on my office floor--but I don't think i would wake up until time to go home...so probably not. Rats.
Methinks it's time for Ambien. And restraints.
Or, if sticking with the Spanish theme--el diablo.
I've been sick.
Like--way, way sick. It's been almost three weeks. The hacking cough has stopped, but I still feel like I've been run over by a mack truck. I have the energy of a snail...wait--that's insulting to snails (Who, contrary to all appearances, are hauling ass and getting tons and tons of shit done. It's all about perspective.).
*See? They even have personalized stationary!*
Actually, I have the energy of a woman in her early 30's who has been sick for three weeks. There. That's better. And not insulting to anyone but me. (And YES--it also applies to everyone else out there that happens to fit this description. If you are a mom and fall into this category--shut your hole. I don't have your "super powers" yet. Cats don't require that kind of dedication.) This means I come home from work, flop on my bed, and fall asleep within five minutes of the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune.
Damn.
I am officially old AND sick. Damn, damn, DAMMIT!
Because I was tired of feeling like crap (I am also tired of my head being a snot factory. And not the kind that comes out of your nose...oh no, no, no, no. It's the kind that gets pumped straight from the sinuses down the back of the throat. You know, so you always feel like you're either gasping for breath, and it feels like knives are attacking your vocal cords? Or--even better--you feel like you are drowning in a sea of snot, and only when that mucus coating your throat clears will you be able to draw your next breath. I'm telling you people...it's pure awesome right now being me.), I went to the doctor. I was terrified I had pneumonia. Again. (I've had it 8 or 9 times since I was a kid. And it blows each and every time.) Thankfully, it's just a massively huge sinus infection (which explains the crazy bloody nose business that's been happening), and I'm given drugs and told for the next ten days, I should feel better--but will still have NO energy what so ever (thanks antibiotics!).
The first three days on Amoxicillin were....beyond horrid. I have never felt more nauseous in my entire life. Wait. There was that thing...okay--this was the second most nauseous I've been in my life. I really thought, since that was a side effect of the drug, that the tingling in my arms and feet, nausea, and other symptoms were just me making a big deal--and it was normal.
Don't be like me kiddies. It's NOT okay and it's NOT normal.
So, I yesterday, I received new drugs. Hooray! Goodbye wanting to puke every five seconds!
Hello scary as fuck terrifying nightmares!
(What? Didn't see that coming?)
The last thing I remember before waking up screaming (Not kidding....screaming. At the top of my lungs.) was the image of Yogi's sweet, little poly-dactyl feet like these:
Turning into these:
on my FACE!So basically--I had a dream that Yogi turned into a ton of pissed off snakes that ate my face off. While the people I work with laughed and ate popcorn...like they were watching some sort of freaky reality show.
See? You would wake up screaming, too.
After I was up--I was UP. No more sleep for me after 1 am. So today? I'm in agony. I've seriously thought about skipping lunch and just sleeping on my office floor--but I don't think i would wake up until time to go home...so probably not. Rats.
Methinks it's time for Ambien. And restraints.
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